December is Back

~~Since i dont have anyone to write to.. im presuming im writing to 'X' - who ever that person might be...

Dear X,

I dont know why.. but Ive decided to start blogging. It has been ages since the last Ive started doing something like this. I used to write alot... but most of it in a diary. I guess its pretty much personal to do so rather than blogging where everyone in the entire world would be able to read what you have in mind. But i guess sometimes its good to share.

I hate December.. a month which i never actually looking forward to in my life. If only i can skip this month and just go straight to January... how nice would it be. I have been thinking alot and pondering upon the incident which had happened many years back.. Ive lost someone so dear that it still hurt till now. All in the month of December. Now i guess i've told you the reason why...

Day seems to be longer than the night ... and lately ive been having trouble sleeping... ohhhh if only life can be easier for me...

anyway, just finished our final examinations for this semester and I do hope to gain good result. Many things to show and many things to prove to many people...

Whoa.. i guess i ramble but not knowing what is the outcome of this rambling...
its just a strong urge to just typed it out and just putting it on this page.

X,
I always ponder what is it for that im living and what is the best out of all that have happened. Life at the moment are so darn complicated. No specific directions, no specific reason...
I dare not to dream even. I thought I have a dream but when i sit down and think about it... it seems fading away faster than I can say 'stop'!

I guess this year i hit the rock bottom and am still picking myself up!
Why is it that my life is not smooth as those who acted in the dramas.. they seems to be happy eventho there are many obstacles along the way. They seems to can handle it well...
I am at the moment at a crossroad and which path Im taking surely will determine my future.

I thought Ive set it already but I was so wrong....
Thinking about it now at this age just give me a goosebumps... will i be able to do it.. will I be able to handle everything alone... ohhh and the word 'alone' just kills me like million times already!
i hate it.. and at the moment i hate december!

hoping for a single light shining somewhere...